ROSH HASHANA IS A NEW BEGINNING:
PROPER (MARRIAGE) PREPARATION PREVENTS POOR PERFORMANCE
By Sherrie B. Miller
Let’s examine the two words for Rosh Hashana: Rosh means beginning and shana means year. We are celebrating the beginning of a new year. What is the significance of these two words and the message they impart?
Shana refers to the dimension of time and stems from the same root as “shinui,” change. We must change with time or we will stagnate and die. We choose to move forward or backward; nothing can exist in a vacuum. But we must be adamant in our resolve to better ourselves and make the necessary adjustments in ourselves before we can hope to attain a fulfilling and satisfying relationship with someone else.
The beginning of a new year is a time of reflection, a time to stop and to introspect and assess what I’ve accomplished in the past year to determine and choose my destination for the coming year.
Rosh Hashana is a time to ask myself how well I have succeeded in achieving my goals of last year, what needs to be improved and changed, traits that I need to eliminate and traits that I need to incorporate to reach higher goals in the coming year. Our Rabbis tell us that it is easier to learn the entirety of Mishna (the oral law) than to change one character trait. However, they console us with the adage: “according to the effort, is the reward!” (l’fum tzara agra!)
Marriage is the pivotal arena for interfacing the lower self with the divine self, by requiring me to see my reflection, the good and the bad, through my partner. We are faced with many unpleasant revelations about ourselves and must choose if we wish to play the “blame game” and project the flaw on to my partner, rendering me unchanged and smug, or accepting responsibility and seeking the path of self-refinement and moving toward my true essence of G-dliness.
One cannot do this work alone. In the book of Genesis we are told “it is not good for Man to be alone.” It is precisely for this reason that G-d split the all encompassing Man into a Man and a Woman, in order for there to be an encounter, a meaningful dialogue through which each gender collectively and individually is afforded the unique opportunity of knowing and understanding themselves first and then their other half. This holy encounter leads to a total integration and perfection of male and female traits and heals the original fragmentation of the universe while re-uniting us with our Maker.
The letters of Rosh, when scrambled, spell “osher,” happiness. Happiness is a product of a job well done. Happiness is a sense of satisfaction that the yeoman’s effort that I made bore fruit and I have been able to live a much more meaningful life.
The first Parsha of the year, Breishit, also includes the word Rosh as well as the word “bayit,” home.
The implicit message in this title of the Creation indicates that the preliminary and primary purpose of the Creation is achieved through the home. G-d’s expectation of us is to make him a home on earth in which His Glory will be revealed and appreciated.
Create your ideal relationship this year!
Prepare to build and strengthen your marriage and discover the ultimate fulfillment and satisfaction in your life.
Prepare-Enrich Israel is offering a series of 6 workshops beginning October 22 in Jerusalem.
See you there!
Blessings for a joyous and meaningful new year!
About author:
Sherrie B. Miller is a Jewish Matchmaker on SawYouAtSinai.com and works with Jewish Singles all over the world. She is an educational guidance counselor, group leader, pre-marital coach, matchmaker and Judaic Studies teacher. Sherrie is dedicated to promoting and enhancing emotional intelligence and communication skills in conjunction with Torah values.
Sherrie received her educational counseling degree from the Michlalah in Bayit Vegan and an M.A. in Education and Counseling from Touro College, Jerusalem, Israel. Sherrie also holds a B.A. in Speech Pathology and Audiology from Brooklyn College and a B.Sc. from Yeshiva University in Jewish Education. Sherrie is certified by Midreshet Emunah and is accredited by the Rabbanut of Israel, to be a pre-marital couple’s counselor and Kallah teacher.
Before coming to Israel in 1989 from Great Neck, New York, Sherrie taught Judaic Studies at the North Shore Hebrew Academy. Sherrie also educated affiliated and unaffiliated adults through the “Project Identity” outreach program under the directorship of Rabbi Yaakov Lerner. Sherrie trained individuals and couples in the laws of Kashrut, Guidelines of Parenting, Parshat Shavua and Pirkei Avot.
In her work as a Guidance Counselor in the national religious “Mamad” school, "Yehuda Halevi", Sherrie instructed life skill workshops to students, parents and teachers, with a focus on communication, conflict resolution and anger management. She also leads support groups for children of divorce.
Sherrie is certified by the Life Center and leads Parenting workshops based on the Faber/Mazlish workshops on, “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk”
Sherrie is an executive board member of the Emunah World Zionist Organization, Mibreishit, led by Rav Motti Alon, and Nishmat led my Rabbanit Hanna Henkin.
Sherrie’s diverse background in counseling and teaching, combined with torah principles and values contribute to the depth and quality of her success with clients. Lessons drawn from her own life transitions make her coaching perspective uniquely inspirational. Sherrie helps individuals clarify their goals and take masterful action steps to reach them. Sherrie is professionally known for her guidance in the educational system as well as her outstanding capabilities teaching interpersonal relationship skills to groups and individuals.
Having made a number of successful matches resulting in marriage, Sherrie volunteers as a matchmaker for SawYouAtSinai, an internet matchmaking site.
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