By Liaura Zacharie, Eden 2000, Israel
Over the past 30 years, sociological and technological changes have significantly impacted on the manner in which men and women view themselves, dating and marriage. In a society where material comfort, personal freedom and self-actualization have become a priority, marriage seems to have lost its supremacy. True, it is a worldwide trend, considered by European sociologists as “the silent revolution of the modern era”. Some countries like Italy already have a negative population growth; others are headed down the same road. Can we really afford to go along with this modern trend?
According to the National Jewish Population Survey 2000-2001, published by the UJC:
The uncircumventable conclusion is that Jewish continuity depends first and foremost on … ROMANCE! It is hard to understand how for decades we’ve missed this point. However, I believe that the crisis the world is going through is for the better as this will compel us to develop new resources that will upgrade the quality of human relations.
For many years the world Jewish leadership has attempted to counteract assimilation by enhancing Jewish education. But doesn’t assimilation find its concrete expression primarily through intermarriage? If so, why isn’t there a large scale, comprehensive, professional initiative facilitating Jewish marriages?
Some Jews do not care about marrying Jewish, but many find it very painful to marry outside of their faith. They may feel like they are cutting themselves off from their roots, their People, their heritage, their very identity. It is quite a heavy choice, especially when it happens by lack of choice.
Some singles enjoy being single, though many clearly would rather be married. They have a choice to make: they can feel miserable and cry over their fate. Or they can understand that they have a wonderful opportunity to gain greater personal awareness and grow into individuals who will be able to build more fulfilling relationships. Instead of feeling threatened by the disturbance that these “happy singles” bring to the order of traditional society, the married among us can change our often condescending look for a concretely helpful hand: become an informal matchmaker.
We ALL know people who aren’t married. Aren’t we commanded to follow in the footsteps of the Master of the World? According to the Talmud (Masechet Kiddushin), after He created the world, G-od Himself chose to make a match! What could be more uplifting and rewarding than having the merit to bring happiness to Jews who want to build a family, while at the same time strengthening the Jewish People?
So what is the origin of this growing pool of singles?
Our goal must be to:
We can accomplish these goals through:
Many Jewish singles feel bewildered and hurt by the failure of the community and its leadership to recognize their issues and by the absence of official initiatives to deal with them. By ignoring the painful situation of such a large part of our people we neglect our tradition of compassion, concern for others and for the next generations- key values in our ethical and cultural heritage. Let this be the end of the silent revolution, the end of our silence, and the beginning of our future.
Special thanks to the Orthodox Caucus for allowing us to publish this article www.ocweb.org
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